A Shameless Whore to the Google Corp.

So I decided to take the plunge and investigate exactly what Google+ is (apart from an infuriating thing to type, having to find the plus sign on the keyboard is hard enough, then add in the need to hit Shift).

The author, seeking friends

Firstly, I suppose it would only be fair to tell the truth. I didn’t take the plunge, I grew so frustrated that I wasn’t being invited even though my name was submitted on the waiting list that I logged onto my girlfriend’s profile and invited myself. That’s a new low on the list of low things to admit. That’s right up there with purposefully knocking into girls on the tube and blaming it on the bumpy ride just so you can sniff their hair. I wanted to sneer at it and say ‘I just about understand Facebook, I’ll stick with this’ but in truth I wanted to feel the ‘+’. I wanted to be part of the group, especially while it was limited. I am, in short, a shameless whore to the Google Corp.

Once in it strikes you with an ‘is this it page’? Styled on Facebook (were it made in the 1920s) it greets you with a dull black bar that roosts atop all Google products these days followed by your ‘Stream’. This is very different from the Facebook ‘News Feed’ oh yes. it wants you to ‘Share what’s new….’ like an old friend as opposed to Facebook’s cyber-psych approach of ‘What’s on your mind?’. It seems that Google∑ care less about you than you think.

So far, so Zuckerberg. “But no!” shout the Google% team “There are circles!”. Ah yes, the circles. I have no earthly clue what the cause of these would be. Do you remember when Facebook was new and every time you added a person it would ask ‘How do you know them?’. Then you could specify that they were a family member/friend/religious guide/one night stand/dog or whatever. This meant you had all your friends in groups so you could contact them easily. Do you remember this? Google√ does and they thought that even though Facebook dropped it 3 years ago, it still needed doing. Trouble is: I have no fucking clue what the point is here.

If I wish to email a select group I can email a select group by ticking their names in my contact list. So why have them? Well, they can’t be added if they aren’t added to a circle. But what if I have people straddling Circles? Shush..and leave that alone.

Further rules in place – no fake names: not a new one, but they care more than Facebook, shutting down those who don’t comply. But why? In an age of pseudonymous bloggers people crave the need for a coverup. They might be those with an axe to grind about work, they might be organising a revolution against an oppressive regime or just witness relocation. Even me. We all love to hide behind a pseudonym. And it isn’t just pseudonyms, companies are being deleted. Just ask Ford.

In the end, Google± might be the latest edition to the Google multicoloured family. But it seems that with the black edging to make it look serious (though it seems a bit funeral-y) it doesn’t seem like the young happy teen of the family like Facebook. It looks more like the granddad who has been put in some day-glo roller skates and told to get out there and prance. And all he does is go in circles.

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