How to Pick a President

Not long to go now

With less than a week to go until the US heads to the polls to elect a new leader (and with no debates to occupy us) I thought it would be interesting to look at some of the superstitions surrounding the election; as is often the case with America some of it is bloody weird.

Petrol Station President– There are several ways that the Yankees like to pretend that they have the ultimate choice in electing their leaders. Not content with a $6 billion democratic election in a time of great financial woe, the American people want to supplement this with mini-elections for the same thing. First is from the petrol station giant and purveyor of microwaved food to stoned students, 7-Eleven.

Slurp your statesman!

Over the last few elections (since 2000), the voting is carried out in an “unabashedly unofficial and unscientific” way as drivers and shoppers grabbing a cup of coffee are invited to choose from two cups – blue for Obama and red for Romney. This year they are listing a win for Obama by 60% to Romney’s 40%. Fun gimmick? No, hard fact actually. This poll has run for the last 3 elections and had been right every time. In fact it always gets the percentages spot on too.

In 2000, Bush won the beverage ballot by 1% from Al Gore (ok, Bush actually lost the election by 1% but that is another story for another day); In 2004 Bush won again 51 to 49; in the real world he took 50.7% to Kerry’s 48.3. And last time out when Obama was nothing but a spring chicken from Chicago he won the java judgement with 52% – in real life he got 52.9%. Will this daft poll actually get it right a fourth time? We will see next week.

Touchdown! Mr President! – Another stunning superstition that could only be from a country that spent $310 million dollars dressing up their pets this Halloween (“Look! He’s a pumpkin!”). This one not only involves democracy but sport. In the last 18 elections, 17 of them have been predicted by  NFL team, the Washington Redskins. This is known as the ‘Redskins Rule’ and says that if the Redskins win their last home match prior to the election, the incumbent party stays in power. This rule has lasted since the Redskins moved to Washington in 1937 and was only broken in 2004 when the Green Bay Packers beat the Redskins indicating that Bush would lose. Sadly this was not the case and thus the rule is only 94% correct.

I would think if I was Obama I would have started investing in the Redskins a bit when it came to the draft picks this season. With a record of 3-5 and being bottom of their division, Romney must be pleased. He will be hoping that the Carolina Panthers can get their arse in gear and start their season proper this weekend as they face off at the FedEx field.

Halloween Hoodoo– I mentioned that the Americans have spent a ludicrous amount of money on kitting out their pets in the Halloween tradition – doctor if it is male, slutty doctor if it is female. Well it seems Halloween has a bigger part to play. run a poll on mask sales and have done since 1988 stating that the most popular mask sold will be president. Here Obama wins with 51%. Though the site does say that if Richard Nixon were here today he would be President six times over. God Bless the almighty dollar.

You can feel the love – especially from the gnome poster

First Lady Bake Off – Finally, as always the best way to the American people is via their stomachs. Ever since 1992 the winner of the election has been rubber stamped by the chintzy magazine, Family Circle who run a contest to see which of the potential First Ladies can bake the best. They each submit a recipe and the public vote on the tastiest. The only time it didn’t come up with the goods was in 2008 when Cindy McCain’s oatmeal-butterscotch cookies bested MObama’s lemon and shortbread cookies. Though reports later surfaced that McCain had taken her recipe off the side of a Hershey’s box. There were calls for the competition to be re-run or a congressional hearing should take place into the scandal. Some people even thought that her husband should stand down from the race to let Obama win…..all because his wife copied a cookie recipe. Mental.

So with Tuesday looming, I am off to get some sleep so I can be alert for the live blog that we will be running on the Le Nurb site over the entire event. All that is left to say is that we at Le Nurb hope you can join us and don’t forget to vote in our poll – who knows, maybe in four years’ time we can say that we predicted Presidential elections accurately too. And we have cookie recipes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Pop your address in an receive an email when he goes off on one

%d bloggers like this: